It's Not Easy Being Green

It's not that easy being green;

Having to spend each day under Federal scrutiny.

When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold,

Or not worry about salmonella poisoning.

It's not easy being green.

I’d rather be ordinary like so many other ordinary things.

Now people tend to notice me more by my absence

As I’m swept from the local grocery store shelves.

I’d rather blend in ~ like an apple, or perhaps a pear or plum.

But green's the color of Spring (and pistachios).

And I taste so good when combined with almonds and fudge

In Baskin-Robbins ice cream; and my shell is fun to crack, too.
My green can be salted, roasted or just served up plain.

When green is all there is to be

I wonder why, wonder why the Government inspectors...

Wonder why they don’t think I’m safe to eat!

Green ~ and yummy ~ is just the way I want to be.

With profound apologies to Joe Rapposo and Kermit the Frog. Penned in a moment of frustration with the one million-pound pistachio recall. Veggie's first April entry in the Random Complexity Writing Contest. 161 words.