A Small-Town America Moment

Veggie Mom's last April 2009 contribution to the Random Complexity Writing Challenge. Total: 332 words.

You'd think that Appleton, population almost 100,000, would have some big-city ways about it.

But there's much about this Northeastern Wisconsin burg that's puts it right there in the category of Small-Town America. And that's what makes it such a neat place to live.

Aunt Julie had a "Small-Town America Moment" in the City of Appleton just the other day.

She had taken her family room blinds to be cleaned at a business recommended by a friend. A regular Mom & Pop, 9 to 5 kind of place. She'd heard the proprietor was the best in the biz.

Julie Eliz hauled the blinds out of the back of the car and up the steps. It was a little after 5 p.m. A hand-scrawled note greeted her arrival.

"Leave the blinds in the alcove, with your number attached," the note read. "Will call tomorrow with an estimate."

Julie looked around, a little unsure what to do. The "alcove" mentioned in the note looked pretty exposed. She didn't want to have to purchase new blinds if these were stolen. She says she hestitated more than a few minutes.

Well, this gal grew up in a real small town ~ Chippewa Falls, WI, population perhaps as high as 12,000, if you count the cows and the dogs and maybe the cats. She still leaves her keys in the ignition if her car is in the driveway, which this big-city gal finds pretty risky behavior.

The Chippewa Falls in her won out, though. Julie left the blinds. She received a call the next day, with the estimate.

"I'll call you when they're ready," the proprietor said. "If you can't make it 'til after 5, I'll leave them with the bill in the alcove."

Julie's not worried about paying the fellow. He trusts her to hold up her end of the bargain. Just like she trusted him when she dropped the blinds off.

That's what they do in Small-Town America. Trust is a beautiful thing, isn't it?

The Dog Made Me Do It!

The Random Complexity Writing Challenge; March; 581 Words!

John Grogan made me cry. My daughter said I wouldn’t. My SIL said I shouldn’t. But I cried anyway, the day that Marley died.

Marley, as most of you well know, is the name of an incorrigible Yellow Lab owned for 13 years by Grogan and his wife, Jenny. Over Christmas Break, while I was casting about for a gift for College Girl, I thought of Marley.

I’d heard the movie was atrocious, but the book way better. I went with the book.

College Girl accepted this stocking-stuffer from “Santa” with a knowing smile. She loves reading about animals, but her Mom has a track record.

I am, after all, the one who urged the child to read Old Yeller when she was in 4th grade. Poor kid cried and cried. Buckets. Blamed me for exacerbating her concerns about the health and safety of every family pet from there on out.

Oopsies! I had remembered loving the book when I was about 10. I’d forgotten that the dog dies in the end. But from what I’d heard, Marley and Me was a much lighter read than that.

So CG took Marley back to school. And, in between classes in Spanish Lit, history and a seminar on the Holocaust, she finished Grogan’s tribute to “The world’s worst dog.”

She said Marley and Me was a “good read.” Said she’d teared up a couple of times, “but nothing like Ol’dYeller. You know how that book ends, right Mom?”

Fast-forward close to four months. When I went to College last week to visit my peeps, I brought along a book. During the course of my visit, I finished my latest literary companion. So I turned to my kid.

“What about Marley?” CG queried.

“I don’t want to cry on the plane,” I retorted.

“Oh, Mom. It’s not that kind of book. You won’t cry. You’ll laugh, mostly.”

As I was preparing to leave toward the end of last week, I put my pocketbook and my reading material on the counter in Aunt Julie’s kitchen.

“You’re not reading Marley, are you?” The dismissive tone in Auntie J.’s voice was unmistakable.

“Well, sure,” I replied. “CG says it’s an easy read, and that I’ll laugh, mostly.”

Julie, who is the Mom to four boys and two dogs in real life, simply shrugged.

“I don’t know. It didn’t do much for me,” said the woman whose taste in literature I most admire. But Julie, much like CG, assured me that I wouldn’t cry.

“It’s not that kind of book,” she said. “It’s an easy read. You’ll laugh, mostly.”

Well, to tell you the truth, I did laugh a lot, much to the chagrin of the woman sitting next to me on the flight home. Hmmmmmmm…probably should add guffawing to the list of no-no’s in Veggie Mom’s Guide to Traveler’s Etiquette!

Didn’t quite finish Marley during the trip. It really is an easy read, though, and I digested most of it en-route. I had a couple of short chapters to go the next day when I decided to spring for a pedicure.

And that, Dear Readers, is the sad, sad ending to our tale. Marley does indeed die in the end. And Veggie Mom did indeed cry. So much so that the nail technician worried that her ministrations had hurt me in some fashion.

“No,” I said, reassuring her that my piggies felt just fine. “It’s this dumb dog. He just died.” So much for happy endings.

It's Not Easy Being Green

It's not that easy being green;

Having to spend each day under Federal scrutiny.

When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold,

Or not worry about salmonella poisoning.

It's not easy being green.

I’d rather be ordinary like so many other ordinary things.

Now people tend to notice me more by my absence

As I’m swept from the local grocery store shelves.

I’d rather blend in ~ like an apple, or perhaps a pear or plum.

But green's the color of Spring (and pistachios).

And I taste so good when combined with almonds and fudge

In Baskin-Robbins ice cream; and my shell is fun to crack, too.
My green can be salted, roasted or just served up plain.

When green is all there is to be

I wonder why, wonder why the Government inspectors...

Wonder why they don’t think I’m safe to eat!

Green ~ and yummy ~ is just the way I want to be.

With profound apologies to Joe Rapposo and Kermit the Frog. Penned in a moment of frustration with the one million-pound pistachio recall. Veggie's first April entry in the Random Complexity Writing Contest. 161 words.

Wordful Wednesday: With Apologies to Theodor Seuss Geisel

This birthday tribute to Dr. Seuss was scribbled as part of the Random Complexity Writing Challenge. 190 words. And PS: This poem was created as part of Angie's Wordful Wednesday.

One year two year

red year blue year.

Black year blue year

old year new year.

One might have a little star

One might feature a new car

Say! What a lot of years there are.

Yes. Some were red. And some were blue.

Just ask George Bush, and Obama, too!

Some were sad.

And some were glad.

And some years were you

very, very bad?

Why were they sad and glad and bad?

I do not know.

I've asked my Dad.

We learned to read with your silly fish

your zany Whos, and with Horton, too.

We followed the antics

of those who did that:

The Sneetches, The Grinch

and The Cat in The Hat.

So we'd like to wish you

48 hours late

the birthday of birthdays,

you just are so great!

'Cause young children still read

to remember your day.

Green Eggs and Ham

just won't go away!

It's hard to believe

you're one hundred and five.

When we read your short books

you're most surely alive!

So, please, take this poem

for what it is worth

we all wanted to remember

the day of your birth!

Tune in for Pop'rs-and Giveaway-News!

To enter our Great New Pop'rs Valentine's Day Giveaway, Click Here. And don't forget to leave comments all this week. The more comments, the more chances you have to win!

Uncle Lynn and his Pop'rs have made big news in a BIG way recently. Click on the video above to see the interview he did with local Channel Five. And Uncle Lynn also Pop'd up in the pages of The Milwaukee Journal. For that interview, Click Here.

For those of you who are still confused about this delicious and oh-so-good-for-you seasoning, Click Here.

"We're the missing link between good food and eating," Uncle Lynn told the reporter from The Journal.

For more info on "Mr. Pops" and his journey, you can also read the "chapters" he's been writing for Veggie Mom.

Chapter 1: What to do when a good idea pops into your head

Chapter 2: What puts the "Pop!" in Pop'rs?

Chapter 3: Travels with Mr. Pops

And if you want to see more of moi, please Click Here. I'm guesting over at Tiffany's Place today. Yup, Veggie Mom is in the Howse! And I'm counting it as part of my February contribution to the Random Complexity Writing Challenge: 633 words!

Clean Your Palate

FYI, Veggie Mom wrote this as her final January contribution to the Random Complexity Writing Challenge. 181 words.

Nerves jangled; bells rang in her ears. The 23-year-old still smelled slightly of frat keggers and 2 a.m. runs to Jack-in-the-Box.

Now she found herself in Mexico City. Dressed to impress. On a business trip.

Adiós, Corona-infused nights on the crowded porch of a run-down, college-row house.

Bienvenido to the world of cocktail parties at expense-account restaurants.

Thank God for the four years of high school Spanish, followed by a college minor. At least she might have a decent conversation.

In the restaurant of the four-star hotel on Paseo de la Reforma, she contemplated the breakfast menu. Huevos, for sure. But I can’t read this—the words all look the same. So much for the post-secondary degree.

I’ll just wing it. Thanks, Señorita Toliver, for teaching me something way back in 9th grade. Who knew that Español Uno would come in handy?

“Huevos y jabón, por favor.” Luckily, the waiter wasn’t a literal guy. And he had patience with the newbie gringa, trying to act so adulta.

Her stomach was twisted in knots already. Soap and eggs would have been quite unsettling.