Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Wordful Wednesday: The Complete Package?

The following 453-word post was composed as part of the Random Complexity Writing Challenge. Enjoy!

As she enters middle age, I have a confession to make. I wanted to like Barbie. I really did. But Ken's sexuality got in the way.

My older cousin had the whole collection: well, at least what was available at the time. Barbie. Her boyfriend, Ken. A Barbie Jeep. And, of course, a Barbie Doll House. Oh, how I coveted that doll house!

When my Cuz would come over to play, we'd play "Barbie." But I never really got to actually play with Barbie. Or Ken. I was always relegated to "taking care of the house," or "driving the Jeep."

We were middle class, but my SAHM didn't earn a paycheck. So that meant No New Barbies for me. I would have to wait.

I come from a "hand-me-down" culture. When Cuz grew out of her party dresses, they went to me. When she tired of her toys, same thing. And with the four-year gulf between us, I just knew it was only a matter of time before Barbie and Ken~and all their cool accessories~would be mine.

My dreams came true sooner, rather than later. Cuz had just hit middle school, and hormones had just hit her. I was only 8 years old; I only had eyes for Barbie and Ken.

Until they arrived at my house, that is.

Growing up in a family of all girls (except for my Dad and the cat, of course), I was curious. I gathered up Barbie and Ken and all the paraphernalia that my Aunt had just dropped off at our house and I headed for the privacy of my bedroom. I'm a modest person. I figured Ken would be, too.

I decided that Barbie wanted to take Ken and the Jeep and go on a picnic. So I changed her into more casual attire. Ken, who was wearing slacks and a nice shirt, probably wanted to get more comfortable, too.

I peeled off Ken's nylon shirt, his slacks. Then I peeked in his briefs. Ken, you might say, was not the complete package. In fact, he had no package at all.

Ken changed into his picnicwear. He and Barbie and I took the Jeep for a spin in the backyard. My neighbor, Peter, was playing on the tire swing. That seemed a lot more fun than scooting plastic dolls around in the crabgrass and making up faux picnic dialogue.

I left Barbie and Ken under the apple tree. The rain came down in buckets that night. The rest, as they say, is history.

Every time I'm in a toy store, I swing by the Barbie aisle. I made eye contact with Ken the other day. I thought I saw him wink. I, of course, blushed.

Participating in Angie's Wordful Wednesday...please look her up!

19 comments:

annie kelleher said...

ah, i had a love affair with barbie... but it wasn't so much for barbie.. it was for all her Stuff... the houses, the jeep, the convertible... not to mention all the accessories. sigh. and happy wednesday! :)

Vanessa Rogers said...

I never played with Barbie, or really dolls for that matter. But as a kid I remember thinking it was weird that Ken was incomplete. I didn't know what was supposed to be down there, but I knew it wasn't right.

Melissa B. said...

I SO didn't like dolls-even Barbie-when I was a kid. God paid me back big-time. When my kids were little, they craved American Girl dolls!

Heather said...

My problem with Ken and Barbie was that Ken got built0in underwear, and Barbie got nothing! What an injustice!

Kathleen W. said...

I loved this post! It brings back memories of my Barbie days, but the funny thing was that I liked setting up Barbie's house more than playing with the dolls (save for the times I cut her hair), so we would have been perfect playmates--you could tend the dolls, I could tend the house!

Julie said...

That's hilarious! I loved playing Barbie. Since I have boys I'll miss out on those. I liked the clothes though, so Ken wasn't too much fun to me.

4 Lettre Words said...

Soooo funny! I loved some Barbie...and I miss her now, having only boys! :o(

palmtreefanatic said...

Barbie definitely is a must have toy for girls! I loved Barbie too when I was little my daughter has them but never played too much!

H.K. said...

I had a Barbie. And a Ken. And a Skipper. My daughter loves playing with them now. Of course, she uses them strictly as princesses. And a prince.

Susie said...

I love, love, love Barbies. My older daughter got the full package because I never had them. Now, my younger daughter is getting to that age. The age of Barbie...Yahoo!!

Kally said...

I loved Barbie and kept all of mine in great condition with the exception of the one my sweet little brother chewed the hands off of. I dreamed of giving these Barbies to my little girl to play with. For some reason when Miss B was little she hated the blonde Barbies she only liked the black Barbies so I packed away all of my old Barbies and bought the girl her own. Just goes to show things don't always go as you plan them.

Keri said...

Now this brings back some memories. Yeah, I was never able to get that cool pool back in the day for my barbie. That's okay though, tupperware made a great swimming pool!

Michelle said...

Aww, you should have come to my house. I totally would have let you play with Barbie or Ken. But yeah, they were pretty creepy, huh?

angie said...

I had ONE Barbie, One Ken, and ONE skipper growing up.

My kids have about 50 barbies.......and couldn't care less about them.

I used to rearrange their house and change their clothes all the while dreaming I had such great outfits. :)

mannequin said...

kee hee hee. I never like Barbies either. My sister had the whole shooting shebang and I used to "rescue" them from their inevitable affairs. I threw 'em as hard as I could under the wheels of passing cars. Or beheaded them there on the sidewalk in front of her.
I grew up to be perfectly well adjusted without Barbie and her manless man.

Marrdy said...

You are so cute! I had Barbies but never any Kens and no Barbie house or jeep. I had such lust in my heart for all things Barbie. My daughter inherited that lust and she got just about every Barbie known to mankind. Then she would chew off their fingers and cut their hair. That should have been a warning to me!

Tanyetta said...

too funny! :)

Tracy P. said...

I could tolerate Skipper (my sister's), but that was it. Some party guest gave me a Barbie for my birthday once, and I think I just tossed it to the side and moved on to the next gift. Bethany, too, is not a doll person. Whew!

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